2002 – Cristal Wagstaff

Potty goes Potty for Win

A record field of 22 gathered for Johnny Woodpecker IV. Reigning champ and host Sig (Simon Chur) teed off at the Waipukerau Golf Club with a trademark 5 iron straight down the middle. The par four 1st was drivable but all that was hit were trees, occasionally the fairway, and the greenkeepers house. Simon Schteemin was late.

At the end of round one the leaders were Wayward and Sidoku on 42 points followed by Wagstaff on 40. Weak, inaugural champ and perennial contender, took 4th spot with 38. In the clubhouse the new boys skulled pints and there was a toast to Woodsie.

The field then headed south to Dannevirke for some fine Southern Bay hospitality. After photos with the Viking at the entrance to town the players checked onto the comfy “Destinations” in the heart of town. DJ Morsely immediately set up his decks and held pre-dinner drinks in room 21. Come morning three mattresses were out to dry given that the Fire Chiefs had been busy as well as the mysterious Dump Trucker. The owners were rumoured to have said “We’ve had entire rugby teams through here and never have we seen anything like this!”.

After some tidy grinds, some terrible pool, and a little super 12 the boys headed out clubbing. The top and only club in Vegas is “Rock”. The only clubbers consisted of 2 local girls and their boyfriend. But the arrival of a further 22 soon saw the place living up to its name. Later, back at Destinations, small noisy possies moved from room to room ensuring a good night’s sleep was had by no-one.

Some of the players, seemingly suffering from insomnia, rose remarkably early and headed out to Chur’s farm. Eventually, the whole crew gathered for Chur and his mums full grind-up breakfast. The hospitality was outstanding with 4WD farm tours, backyard cricket, and clay bird shooting. Standout performances included Rossini with the bat and Hunks with the shottie. Generally, the standard of shooting was terrible with Jonah being the only Woodpecker to drop a bird from the first 100 odd shots.

Day 2

The 2nd and final round was at the Dannivegas GC rated as NZ’s best rural course by the Armstrong Jones golf academy. Simon Schteemin was again late. The course proved a fine test as the field jostled for the lead. Sudoku lead into the last 9 but a couple of harsh but fair rulings saw the chasing pack catch up.

With 3 holes to play Wayward,Rossini, Robbo, Weak, Traill, Peta Hunt and Wagstaff were all within a shot or 2 of the lead. Down the final stretch Wagstaff emerged from the log jam to take the coveted title. In the fine tradition of the Woodpecker he had ridden high on the aftermath of the previous nights partying all the way to the final cup.

In the clubhouse, Son-of skulled 2 jugs for persistent lateness and the Friday night no show. The losers also skulled as the locals looked on aghast. Back at Destinations Horse held another party as Sure passed on some of his considerable wisdom and Big Horse plied the boys with Tequila. After a fine farewell diner and speeches the team got all steamed up and rocked Vegas one last time. (The JWMC smartest golf shoe award).

It was a fantastic event.

Guest JWMGC Reporter