Whangamata 2006 – Magpies

Mighty Magpies swoop on Kauri

April 2006 saw the mighty combined bays Magpies create history in Whangamata by crushing the field to take home the most coveted piece of kauri in the land – the Fraser Moors Memorial Kauri.

(I believe by crushing he means the 1 point victory over the Falcons after Don Sure shanked his final approach into the Wedding Ceremony at the Clubhouse – Ed)

Amidst controversy regarding the selection of teams for JWMGC 2006, the Magpies proved dominant and led the team event from start to finish. For any other team that would be a sweet victory but Magpies 2006 skipper Simon Schteemin is a gaffer that demands perfection.

“We set a goal during our Thursday bonding session to win both the individual title and team title.”


“To win the teams title is extremely pleasing and a great tribute to the big Tomber but we can’t help feeling we came up a bit short … still it gives us something to improve on for 2007.”

There had been controversy regarding the trade of former Auckland Falcon Burgess to the Magpies following his upgrade to the Bay of Plenty. However, Mr Burguezz wasn’t buying the banter.

“It was the Falcons who cut me which was pretty gutting after I’d helped them to the first team title in 2005. So it was super sweet to rub it back in the moisturized faces of those Falcons who were trying to stack their team with freshers.”

Simon Schteemin was even more clinical in his assessment.

“The funny thing was Seeeeeeeeeeeeean Horsely was a Magpie until minutes before the first tee off when he argued his way into the Swans. Well all he ended up with was mud on his face, up his legs and all through his undies. In came the chicken man at the 12th hour and he went home with a championship title.”

Magpies manager Mark “Woosie” Gemstone has been downplaying the suggestions of a dynasty starting with the combined bays franchise.

“All I can say is that we’ve been fielding plenty of calls from some fringe players who suddenly seem to be finding Bay of Plenty or Hawke’s Bay linkages. I’m not giving away any names but rest assured we have a strong group for 2007.”

Meanwhile, Wellington Horks stick man Alaine Hunks doesn’t have the same luxury and is doing everything he can to stem an exodus of disgruntled players. Rumours persist that top perform and Hucks’ wingman Wagstaff has been getting some big money offers to ply his trade with another team.

In other transfer news, individual JWMGC 2006 champion Dr Zooce has resisted offers to sign up with the underperforming Swans. “Yes the cross-dressers might be my team but I can’t think of a weaker proposition than the Swans at this stage. Hang on, yes I can . . . and it’s the Horks.”