2010 Yawn Morsely

Stan becomes the Man

An afternoon of surfing at the legendary Wainui beach, followed by a quiet Barbie, some harmless Central Otago cardboard and a few early dismissals from the pokies/TAB bar in downtown Gizzy set the scene for JWMGC 2010.

Taking it back to his hometown roots, 2009 champ Malachy “call me Blue nobody else does” Mivnan talked up the East Coast paradise with a promise of best Woodpecker ever.

As the field assembled on a scorching hot day one on a pedestrian friendly flat and rippable Gisborne Park GC, only one player took advantage of the perfect conditions and Sean Stanley Scatalogy Horsley racked up a suspicious but commanding 47 stabies. Daylight was in a clear and commanding second place. A quick bus trip round some waterfront hotspots showed Blue (who? Ed) was giving it a good crack to live up to the promise that the “East Coast goes off the fuaaarken richter boyz”.

As a steady drizzle fell on some mis-shapen heads the next day Poverty Bay GC was living up to its name. Slither Shaw was in one of the first groups away and was determined to break his own PB of most holes played completely naked. The rest of the field made some weak attempts to rein in a Horse that was going lame but the fence builder rallied again and finished a clear three shots in front. Horsley’s acceptance speech was punctuated with contempt for his audience and the formal dinner at Poverty Bay Club was punctuated by a series of emergency plumbing inspections. As the guests at a wedding in the next reception room began to look friendly, a call was made and the field migrated to take in the drum and bass goodness playing live in Gizzy.

So, with shades of Shapeshifter in Dunedin but in warmer climate to round it out, many were heard to give Blue the recognition he’s been craving with the ultimate compliment – “not bad Mal”.

Never afraid of going against the grain, Alan Frederick Hunks lamented yet another wooden spoon for his trophy cabinet by echoing the words of Lieutenant James Cook – “this place afforded me nothing”.

Scoop – JWMGC guest reporter