2017 – Myke Bollok

champ2018
The Meaning of Bollocks

  • something rubbish
  • a falsehood or series of lies
  • a Wagstaff scorecard
  • something great
  • the best possible
  • testicles
  • exclamation on making a error
  • toe inflammation from cheap wine
  • the Horks greatest ever player
  • the winner of JWMGC XIX

Myke Bollok became the third Horks player in the past four years to win the Johnny Woodpecker Memorial trophy, confirming his place amongst legends.


The Horks continued their rise from hillbilly Slytherins to trophy winners and Pollock did it the hard way. Not selected by his local franchise The Magpies (along with Frazr Poland) he was sent to lead the misfits and miscreants, and he did so with such aplomb that they are now one of the greatest teams in Woodpecker history.

Pos Player HC Team RND 1 ST RND 2 ST +/- F
1 Myke Bollok 23 Horks 98 38 91 40 -1 78
2 Yawn Morsely 17 Swans 88 41 89 36 -1 77
2 Don Sure 29 Falcons 102 40 100 37 +0 77
4 Danny Smurfette 30 Swans 106 40 108 31 +10 71
4 Juan Stoked 33 Falcons 107 39 109 32 +6 71
4 Darren Stalone 33 Magpies 114 31 101 40 +5 71
7 Larry Bonding 23 Horks 105 33 101 34 +16 67
7 Mark Gemstone 22 Magpies 103 32 95 35 +10 67
9 Simon Chur 25 Magpies 107 31 99 34 +12 65
9 Peta Hunt 9 Falcons 93 30 82 35 +13 65
11 Steve McSofty 33 Horks 115 32 111 30 +16 62
11 Mr Burguezz 32 Magpies 114 30 108 32 +14 62
11 Nude Vaginor 36 Magpies 119 29 112 33 +15 62
14 Dr Zooce 25 Falcons 104 35 107 26 +17 61
14 Spruce Lawn 36 Horks 115 33 118 28 +17 61
16 Mark Lawless 9 Horks 86 35 92 25 +16 60
17 Johnny Wavish 31 Swans 108 35 116 24 +18 59
17 Dean Brownarse 26 Swans 110 29 105 30 +19 59
17 Simon Schteemin 23 Swans 112 27 99 32 +21 59
20 Dave Wayward 24 Falcons 116 22 97 35 +21 57
21 Malachy Mivnan 29 Magpies 110 31 114 25 +22 56
21 Mick Nillichip 34 Swans 122 24 110 32 +20 56
21 Matt Whiteman 26 Falcons 120 24 104 32 +28 56
24 Drewe Meetz 27 Falcons 115 25 106 30 +23 55
25 Fabio Rossini 19 Falcons 101 30 105 24 +24 54
25 Mike Smyth 22 Horks 107 29 105 25 +24 54
27 Mick Fight 25 Swans 112 27 109 25 +27 52
28 Frazr Poland 27 Horks 119 22 108 29 +29 51
28 Craig Sudoku 19 Magpies 114 21 97 30 +29 51
30 Deane Sure 25 Swans 123 17 116 19 +45 36
31 Alaine Hunks 31 Horks 131 18 126 16 +51 34
32 Red Lowe 22 Magpies 132 9 134 4 +78 13
The Magpies The Swans The Falcons The Horks
Darren Stalone (C) Yawn Morsely (C) Juan Stoked (C) Alaine Hunks (C)
Simon Chur Deane Sure Peta Hunt Larry Bonding
Craig Sudoku Dean Brownarse Fabio Rossini Frazr Poland
Malachy Sickman Simon Schteemin Dave Wayward Spruce Lawn
Mr Burguezz Mick Fight Dr Zooce Steve McSofty
Mark Gemstone  Dan Murfitt Don Sure Myke Bollok
Nude Vaginor Mick Nillichip Drewe Meetz Mark Laws
Red Lowe Jon Jon Waveless Matt Whiteman Mike Smyth