An Ode to The Woodpecker

In the absence of a table top Virgin speech

Although this is not quite Dr Suess
It does involve a Cat n a Dr Dooce


The Woodpecker my first not my last
Good hanging out with GC’s like Mal and Blackrse
There were some funny moments and some forlorn
The funniest would have to be Mr Gawn
When told dinners ready with pace he oughta
Tis then he proceeded straight into the water

Day one was a challenge following the first night bash
Shaw Boys red wine got the better of White trash
To Natadola a tight tricky course
Tight n tricky never been a problem for Horse
Never one to be in the limelight alone He was joined at the front by Don Ramone

The teams event was clear in their eyes
Last on day one the Mighty Magpies
Being a newbie doesn’t happen lots
But if you are the calls “sink ya pots”
None of the lads have too many flaws
When it came to my jug I must thank Woody Sig n Laws

Back to Wyndham some went to bed
Certainly not Machine Hucks or Red
Leading the charge trying not to be silly
Their energy and effort only outdone by Milli

Day 2 started don’t be late its rude
Seems the instruction by passed Jude
If it wasn’t for JJ the Pies would be one less
Albeit Rowly most likely best dressed
There were a coupla lads on the verge
A cut to the arm put out Falcon Burg
Some of the boys went out for a surf
But not title contender and Magpie Murf
Day two saw some players outta the box
Unfortunately this made life tough for big Ox
The Denerau course suited some better it did
Especially the young Polish boy Sid

Being sober the whole time there were very few
There were some quite achievers like Hazza and Drew
Behind the scenes were some hard working blokes
Headed up by Sir Pete n Juan Stoked
And then theres the guy who’s never alone
The resident psych n loud man Malone

The final hole ended with four putting pain
Its revealed Bollocks replaces the Trumpmain
The wins n losses there are pros n cons
After 19 long years the winners the Falcons
But once over drinking and time to reflect T
he reason we’re here is outta respect
To two GC’s who are no longer here
We hope you enjoyed it and look forward to next year

So thanks for the laughs the fun with the crew
Let’s see what’s next Nelson or Tomaru

Mike Smyth