Big Swinging Croat Fires Up


One of two Swans players paid to drink piss for a living, Milli has leapt up pre-tournament rankings following a strong hitout in his adopted home of Katikati. The Croatian journeyman didn’t let 9 holes of golf interfere with preparation for his biggest weekend of the year.

“I don’t really get that many chances to let me Baltic blood boilover so I’m planning a huge effort in Palmy as it is the strongest Croatian community here in my new homeland.” Slamming sauvignon in the Bay sunshine on Good Friday, Milly turned to dark and stormies before drenching another patron in red wine.

The wine-soaked punter was quick to remonstrate with management: “That Croatian cricket-fan just ruined me new shirt” Milly was 86ed from said establishment but has leapt up the rankings from wooden spoon favourite to now sit at # 31.

JWMGC handicap spokesman Peta Hunt had this to say: “There can be only one … but I can assure you it won’t be Milly.”