There is no i in team. There is an i in vagina.
The Magpie Triad
Every sporting competition faces the truth that one team has been quietly, ruthlessly, dominating for years.
2025 Sir Tim Burgess
Sir Tim Burgess has become a better golfer and won in style taking Sir Peter's status off him in the process.
Melanie and Them
For most of his tournament life, Mel felt like he was reading from a script someone else had written. The Magpie Charter.
Magpies Move Goalposts
After two months of internal turmoil, former Magpie Major and Chur are now on their own. (Guest Writer)
The Magpies release MagpieGPT
There’s a poster in the office of the CEO of a Hawkes Bay real estate company that has no titties and arse on it.
2023 Nude Major
He iti hau marangai e tū te pāhokahoka - Just like a rainbow after the storm, success follows failure.
An Ode to the Handicaps
Hail you Capulet contrivers, supporters of NZGA sageness, cut me not to the quick with your sharp penned reduction.
Sickman Legend Grows
Sickman is vindicated by his boldness in going against the brief and mixing colours to create golfing outer-wear for the ages.
Minor the Major
Any normal person that continued to lose untold balls and was forced to skull jugs of beer would have given up.
Magpie Tom
A wee David Bowie-esque verse about the only way the Slytherins can beat the Magpies top duo at Moose Lodge.
Shivellosis and COVID-19
Health investigators are looking into a possible link between Magpie Mal Sickman's Shivellosis and the COVID-19 virus.
Once Were Golfers
Did you know that Steve Humperdinck, the greatest golfer to have ever played in the Johnny Woodpecker can never win?
Event Cancelled
Fart Letgo major event sponsor Simon Schteemin said that it was inevitable that the popular yearly event would be cancelled.
2021 Darren Stalone
Darren Stallone finally showed his true burglar potential with a comfortable win in Martinborough.
Handicaps of The Woodpecker
We review the chances of each team winning the Fraser Moors Memorial trophy and highlight each teams weakness.
Minor becomes a Major
Rumours are beginning to surface that Simon Schteemin will not front on day two of the 2016 JWMGC classic.
2006 Magpies Whangamata
Mighty Magpies swoop on Kauri April 2006 saw the mighty combined bays Magpies create history in Whangamata by crushing the field to take home the ... Read more
JWMGC Selection Controversy
Allegations surrounding JWMGC selection criteria are getting hotter and that a bunch of JAFAs get to decide who plays.
Keg Ordered for Skulls
Sergeant-at-arms Simon Schteemin has been licking his lips at the prospect of watching the chokers choke and the burglars biff.
