Concerns about Gemstone

After being named the No.1 ranked player in Woodpecker golf, Mark Gemstone may incur the wrath of team protocol by going out on a date at the Elton John concert with his new lover.

With the Magpies being 100% pure and heterosexual, Gemstone’s foray into bisexuality has caused a huge rift in the organisation with former champion Simon “would have been in the KKK if I knew what it meant” Treemane looking to expel Gemstone with immediate effect.

“At the Magpies, we pride ourselves on our founding principles of being white as the whitest bread, rich, wealthy and with lots of money, and of being able to bring our great weather into all of our conversations even if it’s cloudy when we then refer to temperature!”

Horks celebrate with threesome

Meanwhile, the secret sauce behind the Horks resurgence to become one of the greatest teams ever to play in the Fraser Moors Memorial Kauri, Myke Bollok was also seen at the same concert with his new lover. Bollok, known for always carrying an empty beer bottle to use for sexual pleasure was later seen nude and oily and having fun.

With the Horks being 100% pure and asexual, Bollok’s foray into buggery has delighted his franchise with former champion Alaine “I’d take it up the butt any day” Hunks looking to make Bollok captain with immediate effect.

“At the Horks, we pride ourselves on our founding principles of Slythernism, not wearing branding and using hairy moles for flossing whilst in missionary and it looks like Bollok is setting a new benchmark for the team to follow.”