Falcons look to pinup

With Dave Wayward out of the team with a runny nose, the Falcons were left high and dry in 2019 but they had an Ace up their sleeve in the sexiest man ever to play in the Woodpecker – Jake Hay (formerly Storm Surfer, Jack Kelleher).

Tournament organiser Juan Stoked Don Sure was delighted to have a player of his calibre in the Falcons.

“We knew that we could count on Jon. He was Jake Hay – the lead singer in an awful boy band playing Culture Club covers so he knows all about what performing poorly on a small stage is all about. His game has gone from strength to strength now he is able to get past the ladies tee. With six champions in the team now, we are looking at Drew and Jack for the future to take us to the next level.”

Update

Jon jumped at the chance and flew back from Bali and his 6th (scorecard amended 21st) placing in 2019 has him ranked all-time greatest boy band lead singer to play in the Johnny Woodpecker.