Falcons Smash Salary Cap

The Falcons have smashed the salary cap to sign Australian based player Mark “Falcon” Lawler from The Horks.

Laws, one of the best golfers on the Woodpecker tour and with the lowest handicap of any player to have played in the prestigious tournament was unavailable for comment after the Horks decided to invest in a basketball player instead. Falcon spokesman Alastair “Fabio” Ross said that the Falcons were delighted to sign someone of Law’s calibre but said that it had nothing to do with the golf.

“Our average wage had slipped below $800k which is outrageous. We were carrying two players under the membership cut off criteria (with failed ice cream and web ventures) so we needed to bring someone into the team that was earning big bucks.”

“The Falcons offer all our players an extensive range of investment services and products from KiwiSaver, investment funds and private equity to wealth management and advice.”

It was also noted that Laws didn’t actually get his email address [email protected] because he wanted to be a Falcon – rather the simple fact that he drives one.