Falcons Under Review

Like the V-neck Warriors there looks likely to be a salary (handi) cap review of the defending champion Falcons.

The tall man Don Shaw looks like a ring-in in the best tradition of Fine Cotton. The stipendiary stewards will be checking his leg markings for paint and team captain Hayden Haitana (le hand) Hunt has been asked to surrender his passport.

Don Shaw is an elegant golfer and a volunteered handicap of 20 smacks of a fix say other team managers.

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Other teams have also noted the lack of a handicap player in the Falcons. Magpies manager Mark Gemstone has questioned how the Falcons ended up with two completely unknown new talents in the draft and still no 36 handicapper. “Funny how a Cantabrian like Johnny Stokes who is known for his swinging antics suddenly appears on the Falcons roster. Makes you wonder who is actually picking these teams doesn’t it”.

Horks skipper Alaine Hunks took it one step further. “I think the two new Jafa recruits should do their compulsory jug skulls prior to tee-off both days. Otherwise the ring-ins will just get out of hand”.

Swans skipper Dean BlackRs rambled incoherently about the isolation tactics being employed by the Falcons. “Are they all staying together at Don Shaw’s house just so Ali can go to bed at 9.30pm after two shandies? …. Effin typical Auckland hoooooooooomoooooooooooooooooos!”