Magpie News

2021 Fart Letgo major sponsors Stealins were forced to cancel the popular weekend event after it was revealed that the event organisers refused to allow the 2012 Magpie Possum hats as the feature hat for the event. Event organisers said that whilst fur hats allowed you the comfort to easily Letgo, they muffled a fart and were more suited for middle-aged men with advanced hair loss.

Lead sponsor Simon Schteemin said that it was inevitable that the popular yearly event would be cancelled.

“The Magpies had only played 59 practice rounds so we were well underdone in preparation for the Fraser Moors Memorial trophy so we were always going to pull out of this event if rain meant that we couldn’t practice 4 days a week. You do know that we are the greatest team ever to play in the Woodpecker closely followed by the Swans ”

Anti-possum hat spokesman Simon Chur said that he was delighted that the hats were refused as he felt that anyone with a receding hairline should become a full nuda*.

*Nuda – nude nut; slaphead, bald

“I think that the 2020 Magpie Beanie is more suited as it allows the forehead and crown to breathe through the microfibres as opposed to just wearing a rug”.