Gerondis Retires

Newbie golfer Costa “Karlos, DJ to the Stars” Gerondis officially announced his Johnny Woodpecker retirement after making only one appearance and shotting a tournament high 139 (77 over par). Gerondis, widely regarded as New Zealand’s worst golfer, said he had decided to retire because of the wear and tear that two days of playing had taken on his body.

“I’ve been backwards and forwards about retiring since the end of the Woodpecker, but that’s it. It’s best to go out at the bottom.”