JWMGC Selection Controversy

Allegations surrounding JWMGC selection criteria in 2009 are hot and getting hotter. The latest punch thrown in this brawl is that a bunch of JAFAs get to decide which GCs make it to the JWMGC.

Agreement that the official JWMGC field is capped at 32 was unanimous.

Discussion on which newbies and part-timers make the cut has been overtaken by “too many gits north of Wainuomata” claims regular whiner and Horks captain AJ Hucks.

“What started as a useful forum between the team captains now includes three Falcons in Fabio, Ed and Peta Hunt. It’s typical of the Auckland arrogance that three of them feel their opinion is valid.”

Ultimate Criteria

09criteriaHucks went on to remonstrate with his neighbours from the Bays: “Why is it both Trish and Simon Schteemin also have two cents in here?”

The reformed South Coast paua dealer has a simple solution – one team, one vote.

Swans skipper John Wikstrummer bought some Nordic logic to the confusion by suggesting each new contender provide affidavits of their most extreme sessions with the late great Woodsy and Fra.

“Magic Memories Group provides professional, innovative and market leading business and technology systems for the international leisure marketplace. Here at Magic Memories we pride ourselves on our interactive technology and its ability to make young children smile – but not in a creepy way.”

Tournament enforcer S.O. Simon Schteemin had an even simpler offering that could end the debate.

“Any returning or fresher needs to submit a video feed of their best ever jug skull and let the timekeeper sort this one.”

Falcons captain Fabio was less than complimentary when asked about his thoughts on this new criteria.

“I started the f%$#% tournament so I should be able to invite who I f%$#& like. Simon Schteemin’s taking over and I hear he’s planning on calling it The Simon Trempecker. How come Liam and Scott who both played last year for the Falcs and who came second and third in the jug skulls were demoted as reserves below Machine and Bolllocks (who hasn’t even played in one Woodpecker) – I’ll tell you why they are f$%&# f$#& of f%#!* Napier f$#!#% and f#!@#%!.”

There can be only 32.

What is The Ultimate Criteria?

The Ultimate Criteria is a points system designed to allow Expressions of Interest to be ranked in order so that the NZWHC can determine which newbie is the most eligible to play in the Johnny Woodpecker.

The points are allocated as follows:

  • Did you know Woodsey?
  • Did you know Fra?
  • Did Fra or Woodsey know you?
  • Can you drink a jug of beer in under 20 seconds?
  • Have you ever lived in Napier?