Once Were Golfers

Did you know that Steve Humperdinck, the greatest golfer to have ever played in the Johnny Woodpecker can never win, even if he plays the two greatest rounds of golf in his life?

Now are Burglars

Given the last few years’ scores and the number of serial burglars in the field, the best he could have hoped for would have been fourth in 2021 behind veteran burglars of note.

Such has been the high level of scoring in the past three years, a -15 score, unheard of in the past will now only get you a second placing. With additional handicaps this year being handed out like jugs at the Gardens Tavern, players now have such high handicaps that they just need to get a few practice rounds in (or even a session at the driving range) and they can cruise to victory over the seasoned accomplished golfers such as Humperdinck.

Humperdinck, a graduate of the Fantail Academy, and now the greatest Swan who will never win a Woodpecker (an honour formerly bestowed on Mick Fight) was philosophical about the situation when he was asked.

Well to be perfectly honest, in my humble opinion, of course without offending anyone who thinks differently from my point of view, but also by looking into this matter in a different perspective and without being condemning of one’s view’s and by trying to make it objective, and by considering each and every one’s valid opinion, I honestly believe that I completely forgot what I was going to say.

Steve Humperdinck