Shivellosis and COVID-19

Health investigators looking into a possible link between Shivellosis and COVID-19 have determined that the only symptom that could link the two viruses is tiredness. “Shivellosis enters through the anus so the only risk is those that do not wear protective clothing in spa pools and those who love to finger themselves. Symptoms range from a burning red nose to extreme anal blockages and wind so it is nothing at all like COVID-19.”

COVID-19 Symptoms

  • Loss of Taste or Smell
  • Fever
  • Cough
  • Tiredness
  • Diarrhoea

Shivellosis Symptoms

  • Burning Red Nose and Smelly Farts
  • Hot Anus
  • Ring Bark
  • Tiredness
  • Anal Blockage

Shivellosis (and the lesser Malsporidium) was thought to have originated from a bad batch of whipped cream used on a boating charter in Auckland in 2011 and is known to love hot wet conditions such as hot pools and spas. Rear mask protectors such as togs are advised to be worn at all times.

Serious Symptoms

Shivellosis can cause serious issues, especially if you are an anal vaper.

Dr. Loveanich, who discovered anal vaping (with methol), had vaped so much that his deviated rectum could not cope with the anal blockage from Shivellosis. The swelling in his rectum was so severe, the fissures in his anus ripped apart and he blew a flange. 

As a result, he can no longer stand unassisted without his anus falling off.

Dr. Sickman assists Dr. Loveanich by supporting his rectal tension with a modified flat wrist cradle