Handicaps for Past Champions
From 2011 to 2021, every single champion had been “boosted” with extra handicap points to help them win as part of the original charter that favoured everyone that hadn’t won the tournament and who had played in 5 or more tournaments.
Sadly, this has become lost by the wayside with the current captains and they have been tagged as the WCE (Worst Captains Ever).
37 boosted shots over 10 years
| Player | Champion | Boosted | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 |
| Fabio | 2011 | +4 | 20 | 21 | 21 | 23 | 24 | 24 | ||||||||||
| Wayward | 2012 | +2 | 27 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 29 | 29 | 29 | |||||||||
| Bonding | 2013 | +3 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 25 | 26 | 26 | 28 | ||||||||
| Poland | 2014 | +2 | 30 | 30 | 30 | 30 | 31 | 31 | 31 | 31 | 32 | |||||||
| Hunks | 2015 | +3 | 33 | 36 | 36 | 36 | 36 | 36 | 36 | 36 | 36 | 36 | ||||||
| Schteemin | 2016 | +1 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 28 | |||||
| Bollok | 2017 | +2 | DNP | DNP | DNP | 21 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 23 | 23 | 23 | 23 | 23 | ||||
| Sure | 2018 | +9 | 20 | 20 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 26 | 26 | 27 | 27 | 27 | 29 | 29 | |||
| Strokes | 2019 | +4 | 30 | 30 | 30 | 30 | 30 | 30 | 30 | 31 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 33 | 34 | 34 | ||
| Gemstone | 2020 | +4 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 21 | 22 | 22 | 22 | 24 | 24 | 25 | |
| Stalone | 2021 | +3 | DNP | 30 | 32 | 32 | 32 | 32 | 32 | 33 | 33 | 33 | 33 | 33 | 33 | 33 | 33 | 33 |
The Forgotten Ones
The following 4 x Swans, 3 x Hawx, 1 x Falcon and 1 x Magpie have been hard done by their captains:
Player |
2026 |
5+ | Boost? |
| Steve Humperdinck | 3 | Yes | 4 |
| Mick Fight | 25 | Yes | 26 |
| Danny Muftit | 31 | Yes | 32 |
| Mick Nillichip | 35 | Yes | 36 |
| Danny Lee | 17 | Yes | 18 |
| Mike Smyth | 17 | Yes | 18 |
| Chris Twopoohs | 27 | Yes | 28 |
| Jon Jon Waveless | 34 | Yes | 35 |
| Paul Walkingtotown | 34 | Yes | 35 |
There should be no excuse for both Swans and Hawx captains. They were both playing during “boostgate” so they are fully aware of the boosting rule to help those that haven’t won the tournament.
Secret Agenda
All golfers are equal. But some golfers are more equal than others.
A secret agenda appears to be the main reason, according to a scathing review of the JWMGC conducted by new voice of reason Sir Adam Sigley (after the captains sacked the previous voice of reason Sir Pita Hunt back in 2025).
“It’s pretty obvious once you look at the data – it’s a classic case of Schalkenhoosen*“.
* A mental condition where the sufferer only thinks of themselves whilst fiddling with alternate cojones
(for right handers it’s the left cojone and for left handers it’s the right cojone)
