In the Johnny Woodpecker, that team is the Magpies.
Sure, other teams will claim they’ve had “good years.”
Some will point to “team spirit.”
Others will blame handicaps, weather conditions, or the fact that they had to share a cart with someone who insisted on telling the same story about them having sex with a hottie from Makara with a hairy mole.
But when you actually look at the results, a pattern emerges.
The Magpie Triad – Schturstone
Other teams prepare for the Woodpecker in different ways.
- The Swans analyse course strategy.
- The Falcons focus on wealth and wardrobe.
- The Hawx love a good old fashioned hairy mole
Most teams rely on one good player and a good burglar. The Magpies rely on three – the black schturstone triad.
- Schteemin does what he does best – regardless of hole difficulty – he gets a 5 every hole.
- Chur antagonising the opposition with a 5-iron off the tee, 80 yards down the middle every time.
- Gemstone prays on the weaker players with 5 intelligent barbs about their game.
It’s unsettling.
Final Verdict
Are the Magpies the greatest team in Woodpecker history?
The evidence suggests yes, with the Swans hard on their tails – forget the gay money men and the hillbillies. They pale into insignificance.
Love them or hate them, one thing is clear – the Magpies aren’t going anywhere.
Thanks to Schturstone.
And their fashion sense.
