Where is Roly Poly Oly?

The Truth Behind the Woodpecker XVII Debarcle


If playing a Woodpecker during the World Cup cricket quarterfinals was a wave, then the truth about the organisation is a tsunami.

It can now be revealed from sources in Napier that Woodpecker WVII is about to become the worst in living memory.


The truth behind the debacle that is Woodpecker XVII with real concerns mounting for the mental state of the organiser:

He missed all of his open homes last weekend
He missed competing on the bike for the Tremains Senior Management Team in the Tremains triathon – a not to be missed event if you work for the company


Both Napier and Hastings golf courses have rung Tremains wanting confirmation of course change times due to booking clashes with club members.
The accommodation was only provisionally booked and without the final confirmation being received on March 15 the rooms have now been booked out to participants of the Napier Ocean Swim on Saturday.

Where is Rowly?

The truth of the matter is that the stress of organising the tournament has stressed Fraser out so much, he has taken to food relief.

He was rumoured to have last been seen at a local McDonalds restaurant on a food bender and his weight has skyrocketed so much that many believe that he will become the fattest player ever on the Woodpecker – with serious concerns that there will be a repeat of 2008 with Andrew Donaldson only managing to crawl out of the bunkers and eventually having to be lifted out of the golf course by a crane.


Rowly Poly Oly at a recent Sothebys charity event