An internal investigation has revealed corruption, testosterone and a large stash of viagra changing hands in exchange for shots.
- +7 – Captains handicap changes
- – 18 – The 40 remaining players
The Handicap Guideline
Before commencing their handicapping meeting, the captains were sent an email detailing the guidelines that previous captains followed. Each captain was given access to a JWMGC Handicap spreadsheet where they could enter the handicaps that they agreed on during their group consultation. The email said:
“The rule of thumb from previous was Official Handicap +2 (done the week before the JW) hence why those guys are greyed out. The handicapping (as has been the case for 15 years) was setup to always favour those that haven’t won it – hence the Vets that haven’t won it are highlighted in Green. It has never been setup to help newbies (NB’s) as they have to do their time.”
The captains for some reason had their own agenda. Self-flagellation and every man for himself.
What is the Problem?
The Alpha Male
The alpha male doesn’t like being told what to do.
The pre handicapping meeting guideline specifically said to leave the NZG players alone as they were greyed out, as these handicaps were always done a week before the JWMGC as every NZG player and his dog is out playing golf every second day (Magpies thrice a day).
The Blame Game
Throw him Under the Bus
The greatest worst Swan captain ever, Yawn Morsely was quick to throw Poland under the bus.
“I’m thinking was the recording that Poland sent you. Traill also needs a shot to 12 and now have Brownarse saying he was slashed a point. Rossini is adamanat that his handicap has never been what we said it was. Same rational for Loveanitch has a 20.1 NZG should be 22.
It’s a shambles – another valid point for all the clowns on fantasy handicaps – should be nowhere near their average as NZG is your best scores averaged over 20 rounds – hence all the massive stabies since 2017 like McSofty and Stokes.”
For Morsely, it’s always been about the golf and his desire to win it again and that has to be respected because he is very passionate about it. But not at the expense of his brothers in arms that have yet to win it because it’s not about the golf. It’s about celebrating life and friendship and drinking a combined total of 1,520 beers and 412 bottles of wine.
- Sir Tim Burgess – got 0 shots
- Danny Lee – got 0 shots
- Danny Muftit – got 0 shots
- Mick Fight – got 0 shots
- Mark Lawless – got 0 shots
- The captains got 8 shots (with Poland rewarding himself with a 35 handicap – 3 shots higher that when he won it in 2014).
The Real Problem
The problem is that the captains are only human. They do wees and poohs (sometimes in their pants) and make mistakes like everyone else. They dont like being told what to do and are like referees.
No matter what they did, the press would have been all over them 
The real problem is that they have ignored the charter that has been in place ever since captains starting bickering over the handicaps because part of their personal agenda is to do the best for their teams. They have ignored the veterans that haven’t won (with exceptions made for Nillichip and Twopoohs).
The goal of the handicapping committee was to give a leg up to those that haven’t won. It’s no good for a captain to say “Sir Tim Burgess has had years to win it. He’s missed the boat!” and ignore his valid claim for help.
Who is to Blame?
What is the Solution?
The solution is not to change what has already been done because one captain says so. The worst captains ever will all need to agree to any further changes because they are the elected representatives for their teams. Unless they can be persuaded to review their work, the status quo will remain.
