When Falcon spy Dave Wayward reported back to Hawx mentor Larry Bonding about the chances of a Hawk winning in 2024, he was full of praise for Hunks and Twopoohs but there was no mention of McSofty. A thunderous drive off the first tee at Miramar Golf Club was the only shot of note during his 2024 Hawx training camp and the press gave him no chance.
That was until he was run out of his room by a Rongotai Sytherin reunion led by the notorious TwoPoohs – Mākutu bringer with links to Stokes Valley Ras Tafari Makonnen. Earlier that same evening TwoPoohs had cast a spell on Falcon captain Jon Jon Waveless, leaving him a gibbering fool with his head in his hands cursing TwoPoohs for casting bad juju on him through karakia.
McSofty was happy to oblige as he assumed his deep undercover role to investigate the Brown Bomber, a notorious Firetrucker and Dumptrucker of note that had been plaguing the tournament since Dannevirke back in 2002.
“I had to go deep undercover and knew that no one would suspect my true identity in the corridor. I also needed the peace and quiet to commit to the visualisation techniques I learnt from reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.
- A squirrel does not have to be taught how to gather nuts.
- A bird does not need to take lessons in nest-building.
- Why do we need to take golf lessons?
“I simply visualised shooting 7 shots better than my previous best of 98 because as everyone knows 91 has a 9 and a 1 and 9+1=10. Using simple visualisation techniques, you can do anything. Understanding the psychology of self can mean the difference between success and failure, love and hate, a triple bogey and put me down for five.”
“Unfortunately I was too deep visualising and a Firetrucker attacked Nillichip and the fiend even tipped his beer over me!”
“Anyway. To cut a long story short, I knew I had won it before I even teed off. In my fourball, Sure looked distressed and kept muttering the name Sandra, Brown had had a bad night sleeping upright dreaming about not spilling his wine glass and Nillichip got attacked in his sleep and was very distressed.”
Final Round Scores
| Player | St | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| McSofty | 40 | 44 | 49 | 52 | 53 | 56 | 60 | 62 | 65 | 67 | 69 | 71 | 74 | 77 | 81 | 84 | 86 | 88 | 93 |
| Fight | 34 | 37 | 40 | 43 | 45 | 46 | 49 | 52 | 54 | 57 | 59 | 61 | 63 | 66 | 70 | 72 | 74 | 77 | 81 |
| Nillichip | 40 | 41 | 45 | 45 | 48 | 50 | 50 | 53 | 56 | 58 | 60 | 62 | 67 | 67 | 69 | 69 | 69 | 70 | 72 |
| Sure | 42 | 42 | 44 | 46 | 49 | 49 | 50 | 50 | 52 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 57 | 60 | 63 | 63 | 65 | 65 | 67 |
